Life is a Team Sport
Humans are incredibly social. Our biology is such that we live in community with others in order to survive. This is no different now than it was 500 years ago. But what has changed is our relationship to our communities and how supported we feel on a day to day basis.
One incredibly important aspect of well-being in the early weeks and years after a baby is born is your community. In today’s world, it is often the family expecting a new baby that needs to initiate and bring in their community with thoughtful requests and welcoming arms. You will find that so many people around you are willing to support your family. In fact, the support they give will have positive impacts that are lifelong and reciprocal (both parties benefit)!
No matter where we live or how we are living, we must acknowledge that life is a team sport and when it comes to your family’s postpartum experience, you are the coach.
Once we realize that we are on a team, we can start to ask some questions to prepare our team and family for a smooth postpartum experience. Take out a paper and pen! Let’s get curious.
Who is on my team (chosen & not chosen)?
Who are the people in my life that care about me?
Who would I like to invite to join my team?
Do I know any family or friends who have offered support in the past?
What professionals should I build relationships with now that can offers support?
Birth doula, postpartum doulas, chiropractors, massage therapists, cleaning service, dog walkers, counselors, acupuncturists, yoga instructors, etc.
Out of my team members, who do I feel safe with?
Only team members that you feel calm and safe around to be in your space in the postpartum. Postpartum is a vulnerable time. You are getting to know a new human, leaking milk, breasts out. You want to feel safe with those that provide care.
What do we need help with?
What would you need help with if one adult in your household is only able to do 25% of what they have been doing? I recommend making a list of everything your family will need in the first 6 weeks to one year and matching it with the interests of your team. Please don’t forget space for emotional well-being as well as meeting your family’s basic needs.
What is each team member’s natural strengths? How can these strengths compliment the needs of our family?
Some team members may enjoy cleaning or doing laundry while others love cooking instead. Align your needs with the interests of your team. If you have needs that don’t match with anyone, that’s an indication to go back to question 2 and add more members to your team!
How do I want to communicate with our team?
Organize regular times to communicate before baby comes. This can be Zoom sessions, at a pot luck, group emails or group text messages. Clear and consistent communication is key to working in a team!
Who will be the team’s point person after baby comes?
Ideally the lead contact is not the mother. Make the lead contact either someone on the team, your partner, or your postpartum doula!