The Hidden Postpartum

This post is inspired by the “Nourished” postpartum challenge put on by Birdsong Brooklyn in New York to raise awareness of the realities of postpartum and encourage us to #showupforpostpartum in the lives of our friends & families. In 2021, one of the challenges was about the hidden postpartum.

What does “postpartum” mean, anyway?

After any pregnancy, whether it ends in childbirth, miscarriage, abortion, or loss is POSTPARTUM.

As a postpartum doula, it is common for women to share with me their stories from the childbearing years and some of the most heartbreaking are how ALONE and under-supported women feel after an abortion, miscarriage, or loss. The stories include mothers going through miscarriages at work and still finishing their shift. A mother that feels judged for choosing an abortion and instead receives no support. The emotional fragility that follows a still birth.

A lot of the talk about postpartum focuses on caring for a mother while she cares for her baby. But what if there is no baby?

This is the hidden postpartum.

After childbirth is postpartum.

After miscarriage is postpartum.

After abortion is postpartum.

After loss is postpartum.

But these times are not honored or acknowledged in our culture as postpartum. Women often go through them alone - often without taking time off work - or sharing with close family or friends about their experience.

Without acknowledging this time as postpartum and a distinct physiological & emotional transition for families, we are preventing true healing in our communities. We are skipping over the roots of what makes us human and forgetting the importance of grief.

After abortion, miscarriage, & loss…women still need the same loving support as when they have a newborn…

• Warm & nourishing foods

• Community support

• Nurturing touch

• Restorative rest!

• Warmth

If you know someone experiencing a hidden postpartum - offer the support above - bring them food - check in regularly - provide opportunities for rest.

If YOU are experiencing a hidden postpartum, call in your community. Call in professional support.